# we lost the fight (graphic details)



## mountainstorm (May 3, 2006)

I started Honeydew on the Ornicycline again Monday night, because the silver just wasn't enough, or wasn't working fast enough, or something. I made her another energy drink, after the ornicycline, and then I fed her till her little crop was full. I noticed that her usually dark red-orange eyes were a pale yellow-orange.

Tuesday morning, I was warming water to make the chickfeed paste. Honeydew had seemed okay when I checked on her. My husband left for work, and then I went to look at Honeydew before adding the chickfeed. She was lying on her side, and I knew that was very NOT good. I grabbed her and put on the space heater, and started warming her up.

She died after about a half minute.

***GRAPHIC DETAILS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.***

I did CPR on her (the current kind recommends just the heart pumps. The survival rate is better than when the person is breathed for), as best as I could, but there was no response. I went to smooth her feathers that I had ruffled, and saw her breastbone sticking out. It was the bone itself. The friction of doing CPR had split the skin around the bone. There was no blood. I covered my mouth with my hand and screamed. I know she was dead, and didn't feel it, but at the same time, it takes the brain a few minutes to shut down, and I wonder if she felt it. I pray not.

I held her in front of the heater for a long time. I wanted to keep her warm. I couldn't stand the thought of putting her in the freezer, where she would be cold. But her eyes started drying out, so I got up and weighed her. From 22 grams Monday night, to 19 grams. I wrapped her in a washcloth and set her in the freezer. 

Yesterday, I was going to take her out so I could trim her beak one last time, and it looked like her eye was missing. I folded the washcloth back up and put her back and was not doing very well at all. Last night, my husband said he would trim her beak for me, but I said no. I didn't want him to see it, and it was my responsibility anyway. This time, I saw that her eyes were completely white. I held her and gently trimmed her beak with fingernail clippers.

Today I am going to bury her.


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## Jaye (Mar 13, 2008)

I am sorry to hear that. Seems she had a malady for which Ornacycline was not the proper medication. 

I know what it's like to lose a friend. Although it is little solace, at least know she is no longer struggling now and is in a better place...and she does know she was in a place of love in her final days.


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