# One year later, pet pigeon still dislikes me. Is he unhappy?



## pigeopigeo (Sep 16, 2016)

I'm at a loss. I can't get a 2nd pigeon (I'm disabled, and only managing to keep him right now because he's my registered ESA). He's a rescue from a dove release, shelters couldn't take or would euthanize, so it wasn't an impulse adoption.

I feel really guilty. It's been almost a year, he's the only bird in the house, not bonded to me, doesn't follow me around or come near me. He coos (sounds like calling?) and when I come over he struts, bows, and bites as hard as he can at my hands and face. Sometimes wing twitching but it all seems to be territorial, because other than this he avoids me. 

Based on suggestions from here and from Palomacy (local pigeon rescue), I have tried:

- Holding him often, petting him
- Avoiding holding him, only giving treats, otherwise no initiation from me
- Feeding out of my hand only
- Presenting my face only and not my hands
- Nodding/cooing back
- Giving him some nest material/egg (he ignored them or was annoyed) 
- Mirror, no mirror, toy pigeon, no toy pigeon

None of it changed anything. I tried each for a substantial period of time so these aren't assumptions from doing it only a few days. 

He spends most of his time sitting in some part of the room. Recently doing the calling and then beating up my hand thing, but that's because someone suggested humoring him/letting him "play fight" with my hand, but now I think it was just plain territorial and nothing flirty/friendly about it. I take him to hang out with other pigeons occasionally, he tries to fight them.

What do I do? Is he unhappy? Is it unfair for me to keep him? It sounds overdramatic, but the guilt is really eating away at me. Please tell me the most responsible option here?


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## cwebster (Dec 11, 2010)

Our first pigeon Phoebe would cuddle me and just wing slap and bite my significant other savagely. Would not take your bird to hang out with ither birds unless getting a second bird is a possibility. That may be reminding him that he needs a pigeon friend. He can still have a happy life even if he isnt as friendly as you wish. Ideal would be having a second pigeon. But some pigeons need a long time to become friendly. Our female Lucy would just act terrified until we got her a second female friend. Now she likes being petted.
Our misnamed male Fiona Jr very savagely bites me because I have to separate him from Buzzy every time she lays eggs then wants to kill him. He especially targets my hands.


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## pigeopigeo (Sep 16, 2016)

By a long time to become friendly, what's a reasonable time period? It'll be a full year in two weeks from now... my searches for trouble bonding with a single pidge usually come up for people who've been with theirs less than a few months. I guess I'm asking, is there a point at which I can conclude bonding isn't going to happen with us? 

I know this is less bird-related and more personal circumstances, but I'm having trouble weighing exactly how important it is that I get him a second bird because it would make my life exponentially harder. The reason being since my pidge is a registered ESA, I'm not forced to find pet friendly housing, which is *extremely* rare and expensive where I live (Berkeley/SF Bay Area, needs to be very close to campus because I'm a disabled student and can't live farther). I also wouldn't really be able to see my LDR bf anymore because it would add ~$300 in pet fees for a flight (ESA flies free in cabin), and in the case my health gets worse (which these conditions could likely cause), I could become unable to take care of them both, and have to surrender them.

This is why I feel it would be irresponsible to myself and the birds to get a second pigeon, _but_ if he's really truly miserable as he is, I might, I don't know, risk it? Because I really also don't want to be responsible for making a pet miserable. Since I'm bad at reading pigeon behavior, I have no idea how to weigh this.


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## pilimir (Aug 25, 2017)

How old was he when he was rescued? It may be that he spent too much time in the wild...I think pigeons which are kept as pets grew up in human presence, so that may be the reason.
I don't know much about pigeons, that is just my guessing...However, that doesn't mean he can't live a happy life.


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## cwebster (Dec 11, 2010)

Just because he isnt really friendly doesnt mean hes unhappy and that you need to get another pigeon. Your well being counts too.


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## Jay3 (May 4, 2008)

If he isn't friendly, then I don't see how he can be happy. That makes him very much alone. A lone animal isn't happy. Pigeons live in flocks and the most important thing to them is pairing up with a mate. To be alone to the point where it doesn't even want to interact with it's owner, must be very lonely. I don't know why he fights with other pigeons when he is with them, but then I don't know what the circumstances are. Even if you were to get him a mate, that wouldn't make him bond to you any more than he is now. If anything, when they have a mate, then they need you less, and usually will bond with you less. cwebster's pigeon was different. She wasn't friendly because she was scared. After she got a companion, and has had more time, she has become more friendly. She probably just realized that cwebster wasn't going to hurt her, and in watching her interact with her companion, that she was kind. But normally, if you cannot bond with a pigeon, then you get them a mate, they will bond even less to the human. When you hear him cooing, he is calling for a mate. If he viewed you as his mate, then he would come to you when out of cage. So I think it is probably that he is a male who needs a mate.
Maybe a pet pigeon is not the pet you need. There are probably better animals, or even birds out there that would maybe be a better choice. Pigeons all have different personalities. Some are pretty easy to tame, others can take a while. A lot depends on how they were handled or not handled before. If a feral bird, they have usually learned to view people as a predator. So a lot depends on how ingrained that is also. Some will never tame up. If that be the case, then the bird is not happy, nor is the owner happy. If after a year, it hasn't happened, then I think that either you are not trying the right strategies in the right ways, or that the bird is just not a good candidate for taming. Maybe both. If it were me, at this point, I would try to place him in another environment, and find a better companion pet for me. You would probably both be happier.


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## greywing (Jan 21, 2017)

My rescue pigeon is similar. I've had him for juust over a year now, and he is only barely more tolerant of my presence than he was to start with. He's always been very skittish. He doesn't nod to me, let me pet him or touch him, flick his wings to me, etc. He will take food from my hand (very hesitantly) now. 

I eventually got him a mate, because my living situation allows for it. 

However, in your case, I think you might want to stick with it and feed him by hand only. I think that's the only thing that made much difference with mine. If yours shows fear or retreats, draw back, don't force interaction. If he's nodding to you or bow-cooing to you, nod back, which it sounds like you're already doing. 

It can be frustrating, and some pigeons are simply more fearful or high strung than others, but you're doing the right things. If he still isn't becoming less fearful in a few more months, then you may wish to rehome him and get a tame bird.


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## Smidgeon (Jul 17, 2010)

I don't know if my situation is relevant, but I'll add my opinion anyway. I have a pet feral pigeon that I hand raised since she was about 2-3 days old. This was 8 years ago. I still remember the very day she went from being my "baby", riding on my back and loving me, to hating me. She still definitely does not love me lol. BUT she is healthy and plays with her "lovey" stuffed animal, lays eggs, talks to me (LOVES to be talked to!). She enjoys flapping her wings like crazy whenever we turn on the tv. My point is, I think it is possible for them to be happy without "loving" you. Of course, my girl doesn't know any different, as she was hand raised. She's still without a doubt "wild."


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## Jay3 (May 4, 2008)

Smidgeon said:


> I don't know if my situation is relevant, but I'll add my opinion anyway. I have a pet feral pigeon that I hand raised since she was about 2-3 days old. This was 8 years ago. I still remember the very day she went from being my "baby", riding on my back and loving me, to hating me. She still definitely does not love me lol. BUT she is healthy and plays with her "lovey" stuffed animal, lays eggs, talks to me (LOVES to be talked to!). She enjoys flapping her wings like crazy whenever we turn on the tv. My point is, I think it is possible for them to be happy without "loving" you. Of course, my girl doesn't know any different, as she was hand raised. She's still without a doubt "wild."


Well she is viewing someone as her mate, or she wouldn't be laying eggs.


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