# Pray For Mercy From.......



## alvin (May 10, 2006)

The Evil Doctor Gertrude!!!!
(Aka Iorn Beak/The feathered Avenger/Have You Seen This Pijie/#1 Most Wanted)
Once he was a mild mannered pijie, when suddenly an accident envolving a rubber chicken, a length of string, a badly peeled bananna, and a particle accelerator, altered his body chemistry.
He now has the strength of 10 Pijies, the speed of a hawk on steroids, and the ability to instanly teleport to anywhere on the globe!

Yes! All Pijie haters BE WARE!!!!!!

He has sworn eternal vengence on those who insist that Pijies are feathered rats!


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## Maggie-NC (Jun 22, 2005)

Well, I think he is a good candidate for membership in the NMB here on the forum. If he is that mean and tough he can help Mr. Squeaks battle the bad guys!


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

True, true, Maggie!!

However, Alvin, WHICH one is Gertrude? The blurred one, the dark one or the "other" one???

At the rate the crime fighters group is going, we are collecting quite the "army." That's fine. They will all have their "specialites" and be able to carry out various difficult assignments as the need arises!

Gertrude sounds just perfect for the group!  

Hopefully, Wonder Woman will be "dropping" in to add her comments!


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Erm, maybe not. He's not much of a 'Joiner' to tell you the truth. I should have known when his kindergarten report said 'Does not play well with others'. Come to think of it, when, two weeks later the matronly pij (Mrs. Bussleby) was 'accidently' (HEY! That's what the police report said) crazy-glued upside down to the roof of the loft...I should have known then that we had a problem Pij on our hands.

However, on the terms that the enemy, of my enemy is my friend, I could see certain situations when Iorn Beak might provide his services........At a price, of course.
He specializes in sneeking into Pij haters houses, in the wee hours, and robbing single socks from their laundry baskets, putting the spoons in the fork drawer, opening all of the boxes of washing powder, and letting water in so that it cakes, and his signature move.......putting the milk back in the fridge with just a drain left in the carton.

He is *NOT* a pleasent pijie.


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

mr squeaks said:


> True, true, Maggie!!
> 
> However, Alvin, WHICH one is Gertrude? The blurred one, the dark one or the "other" one???
> 
> ...


That is Gertrude exhibiting the PMV Pij Teleporting ability. How else do you think they show up?


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

I had the "feeling" that Gertrude was the blurred one, which makes perfect sense! Just double checking!

Well, sorry, he won't be a member of our group. Perhaps he could be our "secret" weapon and might agree to do the dirty work that the others won't touch!  

All of the crimers have extraordinary abilities including telepathy, teleportation; invisibility, superbird strength and superior IQ.


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Think of him as an independant MAD (Mayhem, Annoyance, and Deffication) consultant.
And he'll work for _peanuts!_

Seriously, raws shelled, unsalted for preference.....


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## Victor (Dec 18, 2004)

Alvin, what a remarkable photo moment! 

*Feather...ya gotta see this one...Feather? Are ya there?*


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## Maggie-NC (Jun 22, 2005)

Victor, love your new avatar.


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

Oh Yeah!

Well you know that Tooter's warriors are all very organized and trained by him. But from time to time we could certainly use Iron Beak/ The Pigeon Rambo. After all it is all in fun, and to cross paths with that turbo moving piece of steal might be quite interesting. Thank God we are on the same side.

Peanuts for a "Pigeon Rambo" is well worth it. Can you imagine a hawk trying to catch him.


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

Feather said:


> Oh Yeah!
> 
> Well you know that Tooter's warriors are all very organized and trained by him. But from time to time we could certainly use Iron Beak/ The Pigeon Rambo. After all it is all in fun, and to cross paths with that turbo moving piece of steal might be quite interesting. Thank God we are on the same side.
> 
> Peanuts for a "Pigeon Rambo" is well worth it. Can you imagine a hawk trying to catch him.


I agree, WW...Pigeon Rambo is worth twice the price...however, we are not in this for the "wealth," so peanuts it is. We will consider Pij Ram our MAD "Consultant!" Thanks, Alvin...please let Dr. Gertrude know the good news. He can't help but be impressed with other "super powers."

VICTOR! Is that Bev??? We FINALLY get to SEE her?? How fun...now if you would just increase the size of your Avatar...NOW, we can put a 'face' to the name...


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

*I'll pass it along*

I'll pass on the good news. As soon as he breaks out of the Slammer. Darn trumped up charges. He was framed. A sparrow pooped on that newly washed car and flew away!

Anyway, it shouldn't take long to break out, Especially if the rest of the gang help spring him!

http://www.pigeons.biz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=3778&d=1147984519


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

Hi My Name is Dinkster! I'm here with Tader, Super Squeaks, and Ol Bright eyes. Super Squeaks and Ol Bright Eyes captured a hawk on the way here, we are going to make a switch. 

The bars are electric so we need Bright Eyes to bend them back. Electricity will not effect him, because he eats it for breakfast.

I am going to change the data on the computer. Tader will keep the guards busy by doing some fancy dancing.

THE DINKSTER got on the computer and entered the hawks information, in place of Gertrudes'. TADER kept the guards busy by doing some of the fanciest foot work ever to be seen, and BRIGHT EYES bent the electric bars back far enough to let GERTRUDE out and SUPER SQUEAKS dragged the hawk in. 

After Ol Bright eyes bent the bars back into place, the five pigeons flew to the nearest park had lunch and took a little dip in the lake, the whole time talking about the "GREAT ESCAPE"


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## Maggie-NC (Jun 22, 2005)

Hi Sweet Feather

Tater is temporily GROUNDED. We let the little devils out this afternoon and finally had to get the net to catch them. I will have to say he was the first one up after I told him to "GET IN YOUR CAGE RIGHT NOW!" and, by golly, he did. He is one cutie.

I'll tell him his fancy footwork has earned him a spot and after he gets out of his corner facing the wall he'll be more than glad to help out. But, he rarely does anything without his sidekick MaryLou so we may have to find a job for her too. She is a really fancy flyer though if that helps.


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Feather said:


> Hi My Name is Dinkster! I'm here with Tader, Super Squeaks, and Ol Bright eyes. Super Squeaks and Ol Bright Eyes captured a hawk on the way here, we are going to make a switch.
> 
> The bars are electric so we need Bright Eyes to bend them back. Electricity will not effect him, because he eats it for breakfast.
> 
> ...


You forgot to mention Gertude writing 'I am a big Poo-poo head.' on the hawk's forhead in flourescent pink Magic Marker before joining the rest of the group in the park to share the peanuts.......Talk about adding insult to injury.
Like I said, He's inventive.._and_ nasty. I guess it comes from being called Gertrude. (Which is German for 'Why the heck aren't you a girl')

Yes. The gang has earned the respect of the 'Beak of Steel' (If you ever tried to pop seed into that beak, you'll know what I mean. Talk about STRONG!!!!!!)

My feeding kit consisted of a towel (to wrap him in so he couldn't escape)
A box of mixed seed. (For obvious reasons)
A Hypo of Anti-Biotics. (Again for obvious reasons)
A larger Hypo with the Vitamins solution. (Smells like an explosion in a chemical plant)

And a Crowbar......He has broken at least three.........
And By the way, that really cute looking crow black hen in the background? - That is Tutter AKA Mouse Girl/Mrs Gertrude.


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

Oh, is that what you feed Gertrude? I did leave a small minor incident out this afternoon. I just chalked it up as the prison food. 

As the guards were gathered in a circle talking about the amazing little dancing pigeon, Iron Beak flew over and left a mess all over the back of the wardens shirt. He then circled the parking lot and did not miss one car. A piece of the crow bar must have hit one of the cars, because underneath all that mess was a big dent. About that time another guard came out and stated that the heat was really getting to him. He said he thought he saw a pigeon using the computer.

Maggie, Have you let Tater (with a t, sorry) out of the corner yet. He was being called to duty. I hope he didn't get into too much trouble. The next time he is called we won't forget Mary Lou.

On the night that baby Bright Eyes was about to hatch, a lightening bolt struck his egg open and gave him his first meal. His parents were afraid to go near him. Thor himself lifted him lovingly out of his nest and raised him as 
his own. 

O.K. I think I am caught up. ANY INPUT IS WELCOME

W.W.


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

Well, just like Super Squeaks to keep some of his exploits "secret" from me. I was out and about while all the above was going on!

LORDY, WW, I'm sure having trouble keeping up with ALL the gang! Good heavens! Looks like the "crimers" are comin' from all over the country! International is good!

Glad all worked out! I'm sure the Hawk learned his lesson! Of course, with all that written on him, ESPECIALLY in PINK, he's gonna have some explaining to do when he gets back "home!" 

I certainly hope that Dr. Gertrude (BTW, my evil stepmother was named Gertrude...I can relate!) will stay out of "jail" long enough to CONSULT, if not actually participating in WW's latest adventures with the mighty Super Crimers! I was going to mention a number, but at this point...


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## Pete Jasinski (Jan 2, 2005)

SEEEEE!!! I knew it! I said in a post not too long ago pidgies use worm hole technology to feed all over the globe and now we have photographic evidence! The secret is out I caught a similar pic of Dudley teleporting to who knows where for a quick snack.


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

Which Birdie is that Pete? He is certainly coming out of a hole. So you must be a guy with vision.

Feather


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## Pete Jasinski (Jan 2, 2005)

That's Dudley, when he sees the camera pointing at him he goes into overdrive and wont sit still.


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

OK, Pete, Dudley can be our "worm hole" expert! ALL the "Super Power Pigeons" use teleportation...those worm holes are right on!

Actually, that's how everyone keeps in good shape while working away from home for any length of time. Among the Super Power Pigeons, those "worm" holes are also known as "seed" pipes (holes) (Robins, in another universe and reality, call them "worm" holes for the most part)...With teleporting powers, SPPs can grab some sustenance and be back on duty in the blink of an eye!

Also, all being linked by telepathy through WW and Scorpio Power, keeps everyone on the same page...


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Some are born with it, Some achieve it through training, meditation, melding with the cosmos, controlled substances (hemp seeds etc.)
Some achieve it through PMV (the one benificial side effect). But most Pijies have an inherrent ability to show up where and when you least expect it.

I managed to get Gertrude whacked out on Hemp seeds, once.......He confessed this fact to me;

He said 'Alvin? - You know the way you see Blue Bars everywhere?'
I, of course said yes, because, in fact, I do see Blue Bars quite frequently.
Then Gertrude floored me with this rather interesting piece of information:
'Alvin. For example. In the world, how many Blue Bars do you think there are?' He asked.

I replied that I thought there was a couple of million.

Gertrude smiled and said, 'There are thirty seven...and two of those are actually checkers wearing make-up!'
You see, apparently it's all down to the ability to instantaniously teleport from one place to another in order to get the best seed. You _Think_ it's a different bird, but it's actually the same bird with a tiny pillow hidden among it's feathers, and a false beak.
So next time you are walking out, and you see a bird that reminds you of Squeeks, or Barbie Blue Bar......
There just might be a reason for that..........


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

I checked with Super Squeaks after he had his dosage of Hemp and Safflowers...he confirmed what Dr. Gertrude said AND added the following information:

"Some Super Power Pigeons have the ability to cloud minds, similar to what The Shadow does. They had the same training but with Master Pigeons who are experts in this area. Along with invisibility, these special pigeons can control what humans "see" in the way of pigeon morphs (colors) and numbers. 

Some Super Power Pigeons, who allow themselves to be pets, will use this ability to "convince" their "owners" to feed them various "goodies" of their choice! Of course some owners also have special abilities. These are the ones who form extraordinary bonds with their pigeons and become "mates."

It's no accident that the majority of the Super Power Pigeons may have some type of handicap which can actually be a disguise."


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## Pete Jasinski (Jan 2, 2005)

Wow, I'm really out of the loop! I'll be sure to use the proper terminology and call then seed pipes, it looks like Dudley was feeding me misinformation to keep me off his trail.


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

Pete Jasinski said:


> Wow, I'm really out of the loop! I'll be sure to use the proper terminology and call then seed pipes, it looks like Dudley was feeding me misinformation to keep me off his trail.


ROFL! Actually the correct term IS worm holes...but the Super Power Pigeons adapted to fit themselves! Pigeons don't eat worms, soooo, what better name than Seed Holes (Pipes?)...

Maybe Dudley was just doing a little - ah - mind "clouding," Pete!


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## Pete Jasinski (Jan 2, 2005)

Why that little so and so! I'll have to wear my aluminum foil hat to keep him from clouding my mind with his pidgie powers


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Tried it, didn't work. But it did improve my cellphone reception.


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## Victor (Dec 18, 2004)

alvin said:


> Tried it, didn't work. But it did improve my cellphone reception.


*Funny...you are a character at times! *


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

Victor said:


> *Funny...you are a character at times! *



Yeah, Victor, and if you go to the Pete's Geronimooooo thread, you will find out that Alvin may be a LOT more!  ROFL

Poor guy has a serious pigeon problem...they (his pijies) hate him...I think Alvin may need help. Whether "pigeon people" can help him is still up in the air (which is where Alvin may also be!)


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