# Female doesn't like me



## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

Hi there,

I have one female pigeon (who just laid her first egg yesterday!) who absolutely loves my male partner but does not particularly like me (female). She lives inside with lots of trips outside for vit D etc. She used to be very cuddly and friendly to both of us a a young bird and even went through a stage of loving me and not my partner! I know this is probably just a mating/bonding thing but it does hurt me feelings quite a bit!

I have put a lot of time and love into this little bird. I hand raised her from a small squab that had fallen out of the nest, washed/wormed/de-mited and medicated her as well as bought all the food, grit, care products, vet bills etc AND lots of cuddles of course. She is very tame and can be really cuddly and sweet, very very occasionally to me but mainly to my partner.

I feel pretty sad by all of this as I love her yet it does not seem to work the other way round... 

Is there any chance she will be friendly to me again like she was as a young bird? Or a way I can coax her to being friendly again? Or is this how it will be from now on?


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## Miss-Sassypants (Sep 25, 2010)

Hehe... so cute... a pigeon hurting the feelings of a human by not reciprocating the love. What an adorable post!

It's probably because the little hen thinks she's mated to your partner. If you feel strongly about winning her back, why not tell your partner to 'ignore' the pigeon for a while, which during that time, you come in and shower the hen with love AND PEANUTS!

It will work, trust me 

Since your pigeon lives with you, try to spend as much time with her, talking to her, singing to her, giving her treats (esp peanuts) and when she allows it, cuddle her and play with her.... it will work over time, as long as your partner (the love rival) steers clear of the pigeon for the time being.

As for right now that she has laid an egg - she probably thinks it belongs to your partner, so she will naturally be fierce to you (thinking you might snatch her little treasure) - give her space, she will sit on it for about 3 weeks, and then she will be ready to 'mate' again, and THAT is the perfect time to win her love with the suggested tricks.

Good luck! Post some pics and keep us updated!


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## Skyeking (Jan 17, 2003)

* I'm sorry to hear this, because you bonded to her because of everything you did for her. She has bonded to your partner as she matured and now your partner is her whole world. She is just adjusted to a human world the best she could. 

She will be protective of her eggs, just leave her alone when she is with her egg/s. You can try to hand feed her her favorite snacks otherwise.*


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## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

Haha thanks guys, it is a bit of an odd post i know, I was just feeling pretty bad about it this afternoon!

I will just see how it goes, she is her own pigeon after all...

Hopefully she will relax a bit around me over time. it is mainly my hands she hates, she is happy to stand on me/come near my face etc. 

Do all pigeons love peanuts? Because i have offered mine chopped unsalted ones many times and she has not shown much interest in them at all, just drops them immediately or ignores them...


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## Skyeking (Jan 17, 2003)

*My birds love them (chopped, raw and unsalted), but some other people's pigeons don't, so it is a matter of taste, or acquired taste. You can try safflower seed as that is another favorite.

You can continue to give her supportive care, by offering a nice nest box with clean pine needles, if you haven't. 

Please do post pictures.*


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## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

hmm, maybe i will get some safflower to try... we have provided a nest box but she seems to like our bed the best


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## Butanding (Feb 22, 2013)

Oh my goodness I'm going through one of the same exact things with my bird Rory. It was just her and I until about 3 months after she started laying eggs and then my boyfriend moved in. She quickly turned against me and has chosen him as her mate. She gives him all the affection and attention she possibly can and attacks me if I get within two feet of her or him. At first I was very patient about it and that eventually she would even out, but not so. I try to spend so much time with her, and eventually it boils down to, if I want to pet her, I'd better hold her, otherwise she'll do anything to get away from me. You'd think I hurt her. But, the reality of it is that she's chosen her mate, and I'm better to respect it and admire from afar. She'll let me in when/if she changes her mind. Luckily, my boyfriend likes pigeons almost more than I do and totally 100% loves the attention. I think she's trying to steal him away hahahaha I love her, even if she's forgotten that she loves me too.


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## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

Haha if I want to pat mine, I have to trick her into thinking I am my partner (her mate). 
I guess we just have to both respect our pidgeys choices and know they are still semi-wild birds who have made up their minds!
I still love mine so much, even if I cannot get in a pat in edge-ways! This thread was mainly to see whether there were any ways of coaxing her back into liking me at all (treats, slow handling etc) but it looks like this is it from now on...
Interestingly enough, the other day when I came home after a day at university (my partner wasn't home yet) Pika (my pidgey) must have been really lonely and actually invited me to pat her! This lasted for a few min until my partner came home and ruined it all haha.


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## shanty_284 (Dec 6, 2012)

*Finally I can answer a question....*

Hello,
I know I am reading this a little late but I have an answer for you...
You mentioned that she only hates your hands. That doesn't mean she hates you. Pigeons do not understand that human hands belong to the human face that they adore. If your hands have offended her in any way in the past she has attached a fear to them. This could be a little thing like touching her when she didn't want to be cuddled or accidentally scaring her. Whatever it was she blames your hands. If the pigeon is still sitting on you she loves you. Even very tame pigeons don't just sit on anyone.

My Lucky would violently attack the hands of new friends even though he had learned to trust their face. He even sometimes didn't like my hands near him even though we were very close and did everything together. Even when he wanted a head scratch he didn't want to see my hands do it so I would put my face close to his to disguise the action. 

I agree with the others that you should feed her treats out of your hands if you want to try to extinguish this behavior but I don't think you should get your feelings hurt. If she comes to you and sits on your of her own free will then she still loves you. It's those creepy featherless hands that are the enemy.


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## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

Thank you so much for your reply Shanty!
I have heard that pigeons don't associate hands with people before, it's odd isn't it. I guess they are scary featherless things!
I wrote this post a while ago when i was feeling particularly sad about my Pika not liking me (or possibly just my hands), but I think I have just accepted it now. She is still just a wild animal that happens to live with and like humans! Kind of like cats I guess, she will only come over when she wants to haha.
I do give her treats with my hand (she LOVES hot chips and obviously I don't want to give too many of those!) so I guess that will be the only hand contact for now :]
Thanks again for the reply!


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## Pidgeys (Nov 18, 2012)

Here's a not very good photo of Pika unsuccessfully trying to nest in an egg cartoon. She is funny sometimes...


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