# How to Bond More Closely with Pet Doves?



## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hello. I've recently purchased two young ringneck doves from an aviary, one male and one female. The male is 6 months old right now and the female is 5 months old. They share a large cage and I have them out with me for about 2 hours every day (which I should be able to increase now as they were in quarantine from my existing birds). It's been about 6 weeks since I've had them but I feel like I'm not making any progress in growing closer with them. They were hand-tame upon purchase and will step up (most of the time) and gladly eat food/treats out of my hand, but they don't seem to want to do anything else with me. Every day I'll hand-feed them some special foods and then usually go sit wherever they fly off to and talk to them, they are not content to just sit near me unless actively eating out of my hand. They typically spend their couple hours outside the cage flying around, sitting near the window, or looking for crumbs on the floor. 

I've tried to gently pet them or give them head scritches, but both will actively run or fly away (they are fully flighted) from this and seem to generally dislike it. The breeder recommended taking one at a time and just snuggling them close to my chest while scritching their head, but this sounds a bit like flooding so I'm hesitant to do it. Part of me feels the mistake was buying both a male and female together, as I've heard many accounts of this leading to birds more interested in each other and barely interested in their human. I have had very affectionate parrots, but I've never had more than one of a species. These two doves are my first pair of birds. But it's weird because even their dynamic seems to be strange and they don't seem bonded yet. The male spends most of his time in the cage trying to court and chase the female, and she wants nothing to do with him and will run away constantly or wing slap him.

But back to the topic at hand, is there anything I can do to bond more closely with them so they can be more affectionate and interested in me, or is it perhaps a losing battle since they are a male/female pair? Any advice is appreciated!


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

Hello,

My experience is only with *two male *Ringneck Doves, now with me for six months, so just sharing in case useful or enlightening for your own situation.

After not many weeks or months in, they became complete little companion pets - immensely affectionate with me, 100% trusting, and adore being cuddled and handled lots every day. Not sure what I did; I think just spending lots of time with them and being gentle and patient (as you are doing).

I don't know if it has turned out this way because they are both without a mate, but I guess that's very likely. They thought they were a pair to start with and engaged in plenty of 'mating' behaviours, but about a month in I had to separate them (and house them side by side) because (it seems) they had worked out they were both males, and began to fight a lot.

This Youtube video is about a male-female pair of Ringneck Doves who seem to be both bonded to each other and close to their Human:




I wonder if your pair just need more time? It sounds like you are doing everything right. If you want to try closer contact with them as your breeder suggested, perhaps you could try - I was surprised at how forgiving my two were after the number of times I had to catch and medicate them in their early days with me. (When I got them from their birth aviary as young but matured birds, where they were lean, cankered, and untame. So it sounds like you have a better start with yours  )


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

@Hyacinth, thank you for the advice and sharing your experience! I'll definitely keep trying and it may just require more time with them. I also had a small bump in the road with having to medicate them around 3 weeks in for a bacteria found in their droppings. It was a liquid medicine administered by syringe. The male didn't seem to mind the process too much, but the female absolutely freaked out every single day (7 days of medication). She was actually the more social bird initially, but since the medicine, she's been more distant and the male has actually grown closer than he was initially. 

Might try the snuggling like the breeder suggested as well. Thanks again for your thoughts and I'll keep you guys posted.


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

I sympathise about the week-long medicating! Like you, my two had to have antibiotics by syringe for that long, for trichomoniasis, and they were none too happy about this! And not long after that, one of them had a sequence of broken blood feathers during his moult, so I had to keep catching him and (under vet instruction) actually remove two of them. I was worried that would be a serious setback to bonding and taming, but he got over it very quickly. The other dove, who was very introverted and I think quite traumatised from his aviary experience, has blossomed into a very playful and carefree personality. And both doves are now like little squish-balls you can do anything with  But admittedly, that level of tameness came in stages, and I think it did take around three months for them to get to the point they are now. So I think you still have plenty of time!

Great if you can keep us posted on your progress


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

It's been about three weeks since my first post so I thought I would drop in with an update. Unfortunately, there hasn't been much progress. As mentioned in my previous post, it was difficult giving them some liquid medicine back when I first got them and while the male dove didn't really care, the female dove absolutely hated it and became more distant from me. Thankfully, it seems the female dove has come around now and is not as actively flighty around me. I wouldn't say it's a tremendous improvement, but merely one that has brought her back to her comfort level with me before giving the medicine. 

Since quarantine had passed, I have been letting the doves out longer with me, but this has just resulted in them doing their typical routine of floor vacuuming, window watching, and perch preening for longer amounts of time. Male has started to tolerate pets but it's exactly that, he tolerates it and usually does try to walk away. Female still hates to be touched anywhere, but surprisingly she is really good about stepping up. I'm still handfeeding daily and trying to interact with them as much as possible, but it seems they are just growing closer with each other vs. growing closer to me. 

We'll keep trying and see where it goes. Hoping for the best.


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## Doves Witness (Apr 23, 2016)

Perhaps try bringing a new type of seed once a week or so, and initially offer it to them only from the palm of your hand. Doves do like a wide variety of seeds, and they might get the idea that you could have some new, interesting, and tasty seeds with you at any time.


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Doves Witness said:


> Perhaps try bringing a new type of seed once a week or so, and initially offer it to them only from the palm of your hand. Doves do like a wide variety of seeds, and they might get the idea that you could have some new, interesting, and tasty seeds with you at any time.


I hand feed them daily and they will gladly sit on my arm or hand and eat the food. Usually, I will offer them something different every day (usually veggies, fruits, or grains) with the occasional treats of seeds or shredded cheese (they go crazy for cheese). But once the food is gone, they fly away almost instantly to do their own thing. Perhaps too many Youtube videos of doves being petted by their humans or sleeping in their laps have given me the wrong expectations, but my two haven't been receptive to that. 

Sometimes I can get them to ride on my shoulder as I go about some house work, but they don't have great balance/grip, and usually one of them will fly off and once that happens the other follows. I've also tried to take them one at a time to spend good solo time with each, but the bird will just fly back to wherever the other dove is.

But I will try to find some new seeds to see if they are interested. Could be fun and worth a try!


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

I'm sorry to hear you haven't progressed any the past few weeks  Perhaps it is because they are a male-female pair, or perhaps their individual personalities are just not particularly affectionate. It counts for a lot, though, that they are as tame and comfortable with you as they are. I hope with time you will make some headway.


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hyacinth said:


> I'm sorry to hear you haven't progressed any the past few weeks  Perhaps it is because they are a male-female pair, or perhaps their individual personalities are just not particularly affectionate. It counts for a lot, though, that they are as tame and comfortable with you as they are. I hope with time you will make some headway.


Thank you very much for the support! I do feel fortunate that they will step up for me and eat from my hand. It's also great they will occasionally ride my shoulder and are comfortable near me. Just seems they don't like being petted, held, scritched, etc. at all. I hope that someday they will, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, perhaps too many Youtube videos of cuddly doves has skewed the reality of the situation. It wasn't helped either by their breeder who seems to also insist they (Ringneck Doves) are cuddly lap birds. LOL.

I may give a new strategy a try this week. I will continue to handfeed them and be with them, but I don't think I'm going to try to do any other further hands-on interactions. I have been trying at least once a day to gently pet or give a light head scritch when they are hanging out near me or hand-feeding, but it's seemed to only cause them to walk/fly away. These interactions were what the breeder I got them from had recommended to me, even suggesting that I hold them closely to my chest and gently pet them or scritch their heads. (They hate it, LOL). Given that this has not seemed to produce any positive results, I'm going to focus on just fully letting them be and see if they eventually come to me. Will try to let them be out of cage longer as well to facilitate this. I'll jump back here in a few weeks and share some updates. Any other ideas in the meantime are appreciated!


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

Just a thought:
I think the first time I was able to get my doves to have close interaction with me, which was just a few weeks in, was by getting them interested in a basket full of bedding hay when they were out of the cage. They came to it as I held it, to play and find nesting material, and I then sat it on my lap and then brought it close to my face and was able to lay my cheeks on them. It was kind of just a seamless integration as they went about their business, that they hardly seemed to notice. I wonder might this be possible with yours?


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hyacinth said:


> Just a thought:
> I think the first time I was able to get my doves to have close interaction with me, which was just a few weeks in, was by getting them interested in a basket full of bedding hay when they were out of the cage. They came to it as I held it, to play and find nesting material, and I then sat it on my lap and then brought it close to my face and was able to lay my cheeks on them. It was kind of just a seamless integration as they went about their business, that they hardly seemed to notice. I wonder might this be possible with yours?


I can give something like this a try, though I imagine I've probably tried similar in some ways. I have built toys for them while they are out in the room, and also will make their nest and foraging boxes, but they don't typically come over unless I have food. Even if I have food, it usually takes them some time to come to me. Sometimes they won't come over at all. If I go over to them though and ask them to step up, they will gladly hop on and start eating. Guess I just need to find stuff they find irresistible, but it will certainly be some trial and error!

And just a random thought, but I'm still trying to figure out the relationship the two of them have with each other (they share a cage). When they are in the cage, usually the male just bow coos constantly at the female and chases her around (I guess trying to mate?). He also is bad about resource guarding, so I've had to put multiple food bowls, but he still often will chase the female out of a bowl a few times before finally allowing her to eat. But then when they are out of the cage, I've caught them allopreening, wing twitching, regurgitating to each other, which all seem to be pretty strong signs of a bonded pair. Anyway, I guess we'll see how this month goes. It may just take more time since it's just about 2.5 months I've had them.


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

Incidentally, I'm just wondering if you have actually had eggs from the female (who, I notice, wasn't fully matured when you got her) to confirm she is definitely female? Your two doves' interactions are in some ways very similar to my two boys when they were housed together - later having to be separated when the quarrels went a bridge too far.

And on the bonding/taming side of things, just another thought: do they prefer any kind of textures that might entice them to your arm? For my two, the softer and fluffier the better. They love to snuggle into a fluffily dressing-gowned arm best of all  (though I appreciate you're not experiencing the glacial winter I am right now!)


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hyacinth said:


> Incidentally, I'm just wondering if you have actually had eggs from the female (who, I notice, wasn't fully matured when you got her) to confirm she is definitely female? Your two doves' interactions are in some ways very similar to my two boys when they were housed together - later having to be separated when the quarrels went a bridge too far.
> 
> And on the bonding/taming side of things, just another thought: do they prefer any kind of textures that might entice them to your arm? For my two, the softer and fluffier the better. They love to snuggle into a fluffily dressing-gowned arm best of all  (though I appreciate you're not experiencing the glacial winter I am right now!)


They should be male / female. They were DNA gender tested from the aviary, but I also had the aviary/breeder remove their leg bands prior to shipping them to me (yep, got them in the mail), so perhaps there could have been a mix up. I also have heard the very rare report of a DNA test being incorrect, due to cross contamination in the blood sample. 

No eggs yet, but I would assume they aren't old enough to begin egg-laying. The behaviors and mannerisms definitely do suggest they are male and female though. The female is heavier than the male by the correct amount. The female is also very quiet, but when she does vocalize, it's MUCH more high pitched than the male. The male bow coos constantly and chases the female, but the female doesn't really do anything of this to the male. 

That said, I know even the breeder said that two males / two females can mimic a male/female pair, so I guess we'll have to wait and see if the eggs come. Regarding the quarrels, I have wondered if I should separate them. I know that chasing can be a typical courting behavior, but I also wonder if perhaps my male is doing it too much, especially in combination with the resource guarding. He probably spends at least 80% of his in-cage time chasing the female, the other 20% sleeping. She seems to get fairly irritated too, as she often will raise her wings and try to wing slap him away, but ultimately she ends up running away and he chases her all around the cage. I actually mentioned this to the breeder and she thought it was normal, but she also said I should take one (or both out) when he does this so it doesn't stress the female too much. 

With your two males, did one do most of the chasing, or did they both chase each other?


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

Okay, I guess if you had them DNA-tested as a male-female pair, it's very unlikely they'd be otherwise.

But physiologically and behaviourally, to compare with yours, I can comment that there is about 15g difference between my two males, and the smaller one has a distinctly more high-pitched and shorter coo as well as a higher, brighter laugh. He is also the more dominant one and would do most of the bullying when they were together. The common pattern with the fighting was that the larger, more passive male would put up with bullying for a certain amount of time (days or weeks) and then put his foot down and strike back every bit as aggressively as the boss bird. They both bow-coo and laugh very fiercely to each other now from their safely separate quarters.

With regard to your specific question about who did the chasing, in contrast to your pair both of mine would chase, pounce, wing-slap and peck. But as a 'couple' both exhibited both male and female behaviours, i.e. either would mount or 'bill' (feed) the other indiscriminately when 'mating'.

Just wondering: Do both your birds respond to a mirror with bow-cooing? I've heard that is more a male reaction.

And just lastly, yes perhaps if your boy is chasing your girl his entire 'waking' time inside the cage, my impression is that it may be more stressful on her than healthy or desirable, if it persists...? Something to keep an eye on.


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

I definitely will keep an eye on the chasing in the cage. The male does all the chase and the female mostly just goes about her day (or tries to!). When outside their cage, the male usually loves to explore and the female follows. The male does some bow coos but doesn't really chase or bother when outside the cage. Interestingly, the female is often the one who gets more touchy and/or affectionate with the male (only outside the cage). Sometimes if the male finds something interesting, the female comes running over laughing and starts pecking him away. The female also initiates all the more friendly social behavior. She will start preening him, or trying to feed him. I always laugh because the male seems so surprised by it and then just seems to accept it but not excitedly. More a like, "sigh, this is my life now". He doesn't preen too much back nor does he try to feed her. 

I also forgot to mention in my earlier post that I will definitely try a soft blanket or bed! I actually haven't done something like this yet but it does seem that doves/pigeons do like soft services to lay on from all the videos I've seen. I have a few extra baskets so I'll add some soft blankets, put the basket near me, and see if they want to hang out in it. 

I also was thinking with all this talk of my doves, I ought to share some photos. Here's some recent ones from the past week.


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## Hyacinth (12 mo ago)

They are beauties, your doves! What lovely colourings on both. Thank you for sharing  Can I ask which is which?
Great enrichment activities you have going on there - playing and foraging.
You have done very well by them; they look like they are truly living the life of Riley!
Good luck with the blankets - I hope your doves take to them.


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hyacinth said:


> They are beauties, your doves! What lovely colourings on both. Thank you for sharing  Can I ask which is which?
> Great enrichment activities you have going on there - playing and foraging.
> You have done very well by them; they look like they are truly living the life of Riley!
> Good luck with the blankets - I hope your doves take to them.


I forgot to mention who is who! The brown dove is the male, the white dove is the female. 

No interest in the blanket bed yet, but I think I made it too big. Need to make some modifications. As of today, I also think they are beginning to make some advances in courting/mating. Found the male in the nest bowed over and cooing with his wings fluttering. The female was excitedly laughing and cooing back, sitting on top of the nest. I'm no expert in dove mating, but I believe I read somewhere that if the female dove accepts the male's advances, the male goes to the nesting sight and does the behavior he was doing. They MAY be coming of age (I know many parrots start showing signs of mating/hormonal behavior around 6 months), so I guess it will be interesting to see if we get any actual mating or egg laying soon.


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## lobster14 (6 mo ago)

Hi all. It's been another 2 months or so since the last post so I thought I would drop in with an update.

Sad to say, there hasn't been progress in my doves growing closer with me or more affectionate. If anything, they actually have grown a bit more aloof and distant and it's been getting more challenging to allow them out of cage time due to their antics. They seem to be hyper-bonded to each other at this point and have even been showing signs of regression in their level of hand-tamedness. There were some promising signs from my last update of them getting closer with me (especially the female) but that seems to have gone all out the door the last couple months. 

They've laid a couple clutches now (replaced with fake eggs for them to sit on) and it seems they have really regressed to more primitive and wild-like bird behavior. The male, who was always the more aloof one, has become very distant and challenging to have out of the cage. He doesn't even want to come over for food now and chooses to fly away constantly to hard to reach places. While in his cage, he is obsessed with eating, sleeping, and mating. He harasses the female constantly for mating (despite them mating several times a day) and I'm honestly considering the option of separating them. 

The female has always been more shy but also showed some promising signs of being more bonded with me. She was content to sit on my shoulders, and would fly over to eat out of my hands any time I had food. She didn't tolerate much more than that (no scritches or snuggles, wouldn't sit by me longer periods, etc), but there seemed to be some promise there. For reasons I don't understand, she's also gotten more distant and while she will still fly over for food, she seems to be more interested in what the male is doing. If they are both out, she's following his lead into antics. Sometimes I just get the female out alone and the male makes such a ruckus she gets distracted by him in the cage.

And oi! The male has been such a noisy fellow! He usually will quiet down while they actively have eggs to sit on, but he usually loses interest after 2 weeks and then it's like 4 weeks of constant cooing from him (day and night) until the female lays her next clutch. He's also been a naughty daddy, making the poor female sit on the nest for a lot longer period of time then he does! LOL. A lot of people suggested that doves in pairs should be quieter but not this boy, he'll coo for up to 16 hours a day and I wish I was joking but I am not!

So I wish I had better news on their progress but none this update. I am going to consider separating them to see how that goes, but I do need to get another cage first. Anyway, that's it for this update, guess I'll post in again in another month or so!


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## qaiserhasan (3 mo ago)

lobster14 said:


> Hello. I've recently purchased two young ringneck doves from an aviary, one male and one female. The male is 6 months old right now and the female is 5 months old. They share a large cage and I have them out with me for about 2 hours every day (which I should be able to increase now as they were in quarantine from my existing birds). It's been about 6 weeks since I've had them but I feel like I'm not making any progress in growing closer with them. They were hand-tame upon purchase and will step up (most of the time) and gladly eat food/treats out of my hand, but they don't seem to want to do anything else with me. Every day I'll hand-feed them some special foods and then usually go sit wherever they fly off to and talk to them, they are not content to just sit near me unless actively eating out of my hand. They typically spend their couple hours outside the cage flying around, sitting near the window, or looking for crumbs on the floor.
> 
> I've tried to gently pet them or give them head scritches, but both will actively run or fly away (they are fully flighted) from this and seem to generally dislike it. The breeder recommended taking one at a time and just snuggling them close to my chest while scritching their head, but this sounds a bit like flooding so I'm hesitant to do it. Part of me feels the mistake was buying both a male and female together, as I've heard many accounts of this leading to birds more interested in each other and barely interested in their human. I have had very affectionate parrots, but I've never had more than one of a species. These two doves are my first pair of birds. But it's weird because even their dynamic seems to be strange and they don't seem bonded yet. The male spends most of his time in the cage trying to court and chase the female, and she wants nothing to do with him and will run away constantly or wing slap him.
> 
> But back to the topic at hand, is there anything I can do to bond more closely with them so they can be more affectionate and interested in me, or is it perhaps a losing battle since they are a male/female pair? Any advice is appreciated!


Hi. You have to start handling baby doves daily multiple times from early age. Once they have some feathers you can try hand feeding them. 
When you acquire grown ups only thing you can try is to starve them and then offer food in your hand for a few days, if you are lucky they may get the message and start coming to you without food in your hand. Good luck.


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