# my fiances pet dove wont stop crying. she's sooo annoying!



## caarrr

*PLEASE HELPPPPP! my fiances pet dove wont stop crying. she's sooo annoying!*

My fiance has a pet dove. We are in college so shortly after buying her, she had to stay with his mom back home where she hardly took her out the cage.well flash forward to almost a year later. My fiance went back home for the summer spent alot of time with the dove and apparently she bonded to him because she layed two infertile eggs. Anyway, fastforward we decided to fly her across the country to finally come live with us and now she is driving us insane.we treat her soo good.she is out her cage most of the day but now that my fiance has started school she's gone nuts.she cries all day.its not a normal co.its a 'co-cooooooooooooooooooooooooo' sound while she usually puts her head down, butt up and her wings shake. Shes been doing this for the last 3 weeks!!!. We have a small apartment so when my fiance and I lay down to cuddle she starts the cry cooing and sometimes flies down on my leg and pecks me. When he walks in the door. She doesn't even let him get settled in. She cries until he picks her up or lets her in his head or shoulder (which seems like all the time).but when he's not home and I'm home alone with her she coos non stop.I give her food aand water but I refuse to hold her and massage under her armpits like she likes. 
I called the vet to let him listen because one day it was real bad and he said she might see me as a threat And is inlove with my fiance. He really wants to keep her but I don't unless she stops. I tried to YouTube her coo to see if others ringneck doves have similar coos and they don't. Idk what to dooooo!


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## TAWhatley

Why don't you consider adopting a rescued dove that is looking for a home to become a companion for the one you have. 

Terry


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## NZ Pigeon

Yeah, I would get it a mate, although your fiancé might not like that as the dove will probably loose its affection towards him.


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## MaryOfExeter

Yep, definitely get it a mate.


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## MaryOfExeter

Do you have a picture of her? Just wondering what kind of dove it is if you couldn't find a similar sounding call.


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## AlicjanPip

caarrr said:


> My fiance has a pet dove. We are in college so shortly after buying her, she had to stay with his mom back home where she hardly took her out the cage.well flash forward to almost a year later. My fiance went back home for the summer spent alot of time with the dove and apparently she bonded to him because she layed two infertile eggs. Anyway, fastforward we decided to fly her across the country to finally come live with us and now she is driving us insane.we treat her soo good.she is out her cage most of the day but now that my fiance has started school she's gone nuts.she cries all day.its not a normal co.its a 'co-cooooooooooooooooooooooooo' sound while she usually puts her head down, butt up and her wings shake. Shes been doing this for the last 3 weeks!!!. We have a small apartment so when my fiance and I lay down to cuddle she starts the cry cooing and sometimes flies down on my leg and pecks me. When he walks in the door. She doesn't even let him get settled in. She cries until he picks her up or lets her in his head or shoulder (which seems like all the time).but when he's not home and I'm home alone with her she coos non stop.I give her food aand water but I refuse to hold her and massage under her armpits like she likes.
> I called the vet to let him listen because one day it was real bad and he said she might see me as a threat And is inlove with my fiance. He really wants to keep her but I don't unless she stops. I tried to YouTube her coo to see if others ringneck doves have similar coos and they don't. Idk what to dooooo!



Hi!

Best advice is to get/buy this little lady a man. We just went through asimilar experience with a girl pigeon who lost her mate. She turned to my sister and me, and we became what we can only describe as her 'stand-in boyfriends'. She cooed for our attention non-stop, gut wrenching coos so loud, it made us feel awful for her.

You've got to remember these little creatures have feelings too. They create bonds and once they do, they are incredibly loyal. THey get lonely very easily.

We found our pigeon a new mate 2 days ago. We put him in her cage at midday, and by night, they were already courting each other. Now she doesn't even bat an eyelid at my sister or me. She'll still be cuddled, but her coos for attention are no more.

So my advice is, definitely get your pigeon a mate.


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## caarrr

Thank you all for the responses, but will getting her a mate really reduce the noise?! I don't think i can handle two if they coo to eachother all day! I am going to try and upload a video for you all to hear! And ill keep you updated.


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## caarrr

Also I read somewhere that she may be getting ready to lay eggs because her wings shake rapidly?...is that true? How do I know?


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## Siobhan

The more frantic the cooing, the more likely an egg is imminent. A companion -- who does not have to be the opposite sex -- might fix the problem. However, your bird may not recognize another bird if she's been hand raised and lived all her life with humans. We had a rescue pigeon for a while who was injured and my Maggie wanted nothing to do with him. She continued to love me best. She does mad cooing when she's broody, but once the egg arrives, she only coos to communicate. And it sometimes days a week or longer of mad cooing before the egg appears. The thing is, you have to understand that a bird isn't like a dog. You can tell a dog and teach a dog to be quiet for the most part. You can't do that with birds. They make noise and nothing short of actual cruelty will make them be quiet. It's part of living with a bird. I have eight and I have just learned to let it go in one ear and out the other unless I hear sounds of distress, and then I go running, but even when I'm in the room and playing with them, they make some noise pretty much all the time they're awake.


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## AlicjanPip

caarrr said:


> Thank you all for the responses, but will getting her a mate really reduce the noise?! I don't think i can handle two if they coo to eachother all day! I am going to try and upload a video for you all to hear! And ill keep you updated.


Oh my gosh, everyone's got a right to express themselves.  Pigeons make the cutest noises. From experience, I do think your fiance's dove will stop making her heartbreaking 'coos/labour-pain' noises once she gets a mate. The noises the two of them will make, will be different. Once they befriend one another, he will start courting her...usually this includes the male circling the female while making chortling gurgling noises. This circling lasts about a few seconds at a time. It is not nonstop, and its not an in your face kind of noise. None of them are. What's your fiance think about the matter? Its his dove.


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## DeeDee's Mom

Our DeeDee is also a noisy little beast. I have decided that DeeDee is a male because he courts me non-stop, and tries to mate with my head: he LOVES my hair. Hubby and I don't mind the cooing unless he is doing it non-stop and like a maniac--which he will do when he wants attention. USUALLY if we let him out of the cage, he is a LITTLE quieter, but not always, and it can get to be a real problem if we are on the phone or trying to watch tv or whatever. We've gotten to where we use a variety of methods to quiet him down. #1 if all else fails, we put him in the bathroom where he can talk to the bird in the mirror as much as he likes; #2 We have a spray bottle of water, and if he is being terribly obnoxious at a very inopportune time, we will tell him "shhhhh!" and spray him in the face. That will quiet him about 50% of the time for quite a while. #3 We have an old violin bow that we will shake at him--he really doesn't like that bow, as I think he believes it's a snake or some such. We'll shake it at him and he will ruffle his feathers and do wing slaps in its direction, and again, sometimes it will at least slow him down.

We considered getting a companion, but we figured if we got another male, they might not get along, and if we get a female, then we'd have to deal with eggs, which is a bit of a pain. Sometimes I feel bad because I think he's lonely, but then I look at how spoiled he is and figure he's actually got it pretty good. He's out of the cage at least 2-3 hours a day, and spends a lot of time using hubby as a taxi as he walks around the house. When he's cooperating with me and not being obnoxious about trying to mate with my head (squicky), he and I spend a lot of time with him in my lap with me petting him and him cooing softly.

However, with you guys being young folks and wanting to spend more time with each other than we old-timers who have been married for 44 years, I could see how having a loudmouth, lonesome dove as a companion could be a problem. Maybe your best bet is to try a companion and if you end up with eggs, switch them out with fakes.

Good luck!


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## caarrr

*DEEDEE'S MOM* thank you so much for all the tips! we are 20 year old full-time college students in new york city so im sure you could just imagine the noise we already have to deal with which makes us less tolerable of her coo's. 


* AlicjanPip* my fiance is such an easy going person. he gets annoyed, but deals with it better than me. plus he is not home as much as me. he suggested getting her a mate. but im still not too convinced.. I just keep thinking double the noise.double the money. double the attention he treats her soo good thoug. he even bought her a customer bird leash so he lets her fly around when we go to the park and post in trees.


I'm hoping that these are mostly labor pain coo's but they have to stop.i hear her happy excited coo's sometimes and i wish she made more of those noises. those I could handle. right now I've been demanding that my fiance not touch her soooooo much. he massages her under her armpit and she loves it and goes into a trance where she could just fall asleep in his hands. i dont like him doing that because I think it makes her more inlove with him.

I know i sound like a mean person, but im not. I tried to make her a homemade nest out of egg carton and cushiony stuff hoping it would work but it doesn't. I honestly would rather have a dog! she's so noisy the neighbors could hear her and they turn their music up really loud. but my fiance refuses to get rid of her.

Surprisingly today though, she hasn't cried much today probably about 20 coo's and its afternoon.


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## RockPigeon<3er

If you get a male (which I suggest - 2 females might not work out) then the cooing will stop.
It's either that or keep complaining to us - your fiancé will lose a lot of her attention, but the noise will stop and the new noises (cooing, mainly) will be a lot quieter. 
Otherwise you'll just have to get madder and essentially force your fiancé to 'break up' with her, which would just be mean.
I'm not trying to be rude, but so far, seems like your ignoring the way to get her to be quiet (skeptical I could understand but so many people have recommended it, and there's a lot of success stories. What are you skeptical about?) and just telling your fiancé to spend less attention to her.


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## DeeDee's Mom

I'm assuming your fiancee had the dove before you guys got together? I know he must be very attached to her as well as she to him. He definitely needs to stop petting her under the wings, as I imagine that really IS sexual to her. *Not that I'm one to talk, since DeeDee is probably the happiest male dove around who doesn't have a real mate, since I pet him all the time*.

In the end, it all boils down to how much both of you are willing to allow the dove to disrupt your lives. In the end, getting her a true mate might be the only real answer for you, but your fiancee will have to realize he has to stop "petting" her in sexual ways and allow her to bond with her new mate. That way YOU can have more uninterrupted time with YOUR mate. <grin>


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## MaryOfExeter

I have a male dove you can have for the cost of shipping if you can't find one locally.


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## Michy

I'm no expert and I have pigeons rather than doves, but I know what you are going through as pigeons coo just as much as doves. 

When my daughter rescued a white homer, she made the same mournful calls. First at night then it grew to almost 24/7. Drove us CRAZY!! Our daughter found her a mate and those long, drawn out coos ended.

BUT.. What you need to know is that coos never end. Once she is mated with another dove, he will continue to woo and romance her by coos and dancing. This will not end. The coos are softer, quieter and in my opinion..calming, but they will never be quiet. 

You also have to keep in mind that if she is mated with a male, you will have to deal with fertile eggs that you just can't toss away. Doing so will cause stress and health problems(calcium def.). You would either have to let them raise the babies, or you go through the headache of boiling the eggs or switching them with fakes. A lot of people see no problem with dealing with mated pairs and eggs, but you both sound like you have enough on your plate as it is. My advice to you is to look into finding a loving home for the dove who can have a mate by her side constantly...as it should be. The bond between the dove and her owner is not doing the dove any good if she is missing him more than she is with him.


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## AlicjanPip

caarrr said:


> *DEEDEE'S MOM* thank you so much for all the tips! we are 20 year old full-time college students in new york city so im sure you could just imagine the noise we already have to deal with which makes us less tolerable of her coo's.
> 
> 
> * AlicjanPip* my fiance is such an easy going person. he gets annoyed, but deals with it better than me. plus he is not home as much as me. he suggested getting her a mate. but im still not too convinced.. I just keep thinking double the noise.double the money. double the attention he treats her soo good thoug. he even bought her a customer bird leash so he lets her fly around when we go to the park and post in trees.
> 
> 
> I'm hoping that these are mostly labor pain coo's but they have to stop.i hear her happy excited coo's sometimes and i wish she made more of those noises. those I could handle. right now I've been demanding that my fiance not touch her soooooo much. he massages her under her armpit and she loves it and goes into a trance where she could just fall asleep in his hands. i dont like him doing that because I think it makes her more inlove with him.
> 
> I know i sound like a mean person, but im not. I tried to make her a homemade nest out of egg carton and cushiony stuff hoping it would work but it doesn't. I honestly would rather have a dog! she's so noisy the neighbors could hear her and they turn their music up really loud. but my fiance refuses to get rid of her.
> 
> Surprisingly today though, she hasn't cried much today probably about 20 coo's and its afternoon.


Hi Caarrr,
I'd really recommend get your fiance's dove a male mate without even a moment thought about it.
I don't see any other options to keep all parties happy.

The labour pain noises don't mean she's in actual labour, hehe, but that's how I describe them from the lady pigeon experience we just went through. Her cries were serious woe and pain.  Ever since she's had her new man, there's been no crying.

Having a 'bond' with a pet may seem stupid to some people, but everyone's different. You can't make or expect your fiance to get rid of his pet. So, you both need another solution. Like getting her a mate. The doves attention will transfer itself onto her new mate. She'll still have trust and affection for your fiance, but it won't be a 'love' like it clearly is now.

You might also help 'even' the doves emotions out by becoming friendly to her yourself. You wrote you refuse to touch her. Why? They don't bite, and how's an occasional neck rub going to harm you? The reason the dove's making these noises in the first place, is because she's unhappy and lonely.

Pet stores sell 'nests'. We have circular terracotta ones, or plastic...well, whatever your stores sell. Like shallow bowls, so the eggs don't roll out and big enough to make sittiing on the eggs comfortable.
You'll have to give her material to build her nest inside then...little thin sticks, newspare/paper shreddings etc.


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## AlicjanPip

AlicjanPip said:


> Hi Caarrr,
> I'd really recommend get your fiance's dove a male mate without even a moment thought about it.
> I don't see any other options to keep all parties happy.
> 
> The labour pain noises don't mean she's in actual labour, hehe, but that's how I describe them from the lady pigeon experience we just went through. Her cries were serious woe and pain.  Ever since she's had her new man, there's been no crying.
> 
> Having a 'bond' with a pet may seem stupid to some people, but everyone's different. You can't make or expect your fiance to get rid of his pet. So, you both need another solution. Like getting her a mate. The doves attention will transfer itself onto her new mate. She'll still have trust and affection for your fiance, but it won't be a 'love' like it clearly is now.
> 
> You might also help 'even' the doves emotions out by becoming friendly to her yourself. You wrote you refuse to touch her. Why? They don't bite, and how's an occasional neck rub going to harm you? The reason the dove's making these noises in the first place, is because she's unhappy and lonely.
> 
> Pet stores sell 'nests'. We have circular terracotta ones, or plastic...well, whatever your stores sell. Like shallow bowls, so the eggs don't roll out and big enough to make sittiing on the eggs comfortable.
> You'll have to give her material to build her nest inside then...little thin sticks, newspare/paper shreddings etc.


newspaper*


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## caarrr

*MICHY AND ALICJANPIP!!*

THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSES THEY WERE THE MOST HELPFUL AND THOUGHT PROVOKING. 

*UPDATE:* Ira is doing much better now after we read your post my fiance and I had a long talk about character and how I claim to be such an animal lover, but how could i, if I didn't like this innocent dove. I guess i could admit that I did not like all the attention they were giving each other and it really bothered me, but now, my energy towards her is much nicer and friendly. I pet her, talk to her and help feed her. I had always held her. but only before in a observatory stand offish way. this weekend I help my fiance bathe her and I think she really built trust in me. the cooing isn't soo bad now. maybe she just wanted my attention

*FOR THE OTHER RESPONDERS:* thak you also, im going to be honest, i didnt want to get her a mate and am still holding off on that because we just cant afford it in every way right now. we literally live in a studio and our landlord doesnt even know we have her. plus i cant deal with fertile eggs. later we plan to get her a female mate when we move. But I am a full time college student, and if we want to afford more birds we have to be stable first. but thank you all for your suggestions!


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## Jay3

This thread is 3 years old. I will ask that they start a new one for you.


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