# Oh well, here we go again.



## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Nope, not a sick Pijie. 
Quite the opposite in fact.

I had a small bit of bother from neighbours (you know the kind....) and had to stop feeding the demons on my street.
It got to the point where I had Pijies hanging around from dawn till dusk eyeballing everything that went in and out of my door. Think Hitchcock. I trust you get the picture.

Those birds were hanging out on the rooftops, playing dice, throwing drunken parties, and making lewd and suggestive remarks at passing seagulls.

- Ever see a Seagull blush?
It's not pretty. - Funny, but not pretty.

For the sake of the local flora and fauna, I had to do something.....

So over the last couple of weeks, I have been moving the feeding site to a large green about 500M away. Each day I'd drop the seed a little further down the street so that the demons would follow it. We had a Hanzel & Gretal thing going on there for a while. Oh how good I felt as they waited just a little further down the street each day. _Such triumph! Such elation!_

And then the little gits would bugger off back to the roof across the street and resume their vigil, and consequently their floating crap game.

No pun intended.......

But I persevered. When you have delt with pure evil in feathered form, these guys would not deter me. I could feel the ghost of Gertrude egging them on at every turn (pun intended there folks) and I was darned if I was going to lose to a bunch of fat, fluffy, yet cute, and sweet, malcontents.

Today I finally managed it. I got them to the new feeding site.
Apparently they sent out invitations. . . . . . . 
About 50 to 100 of them.

So I showed up today with my little bag of seed. Prepared with these same loving hands that type this message to you fellow Pijiefans.
With great pride I opened the bag, and began to scatter all of the corney and nutty goodness around. The bounty was indeed plentiful, and lo, the pijies were indeed satisfied.

For about a second and a half.
Then the bag was empty.

Things were about to get ugly. Fast.

The only thing that saved me was an emergency bag of oatflakes which I keep for just such an occasion. So I sliced the bag open and ran like Indianna Jones as fast as I could, scattering flakes all over. Like small feathered sharkes, the demons descended on the flakes and began to gorge.

As I dove through the door, and firmly bolted and nailed that sucker shut, I looked up. 

For the first time in months, I had a Pijie free roof. I will miss them waking me up at dawn by coo-ing softly outside my window, and failing that, setting off random car alarms outside to get my attention. Sometimes they had to travel quite far to find a car and bring it back....

Ah...bless their dear little beaks. 

But I can feed them everyday, and now I have many more friends including Jumbo O'Pijie, and Paddy Mc Racer. (well they are Irish after all)
Yup, I'm a happy man today. 

Now where can I get peanuts and corn im bulk. I swear it's like the loaves and fishes....(except with less tuna, and more peanuts)


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

ALVIN!!

WELCOME BACK!!

With the way this year has started, I was SO glad to be able to laugh HEARTY!!

GREAT solution! Looks like we will have some new pijie beakers to love! Bet you will have stories for them too!

Gertrude's spirit is INDEED watching!!

Many THANKS for making my morning!! 

Won't be long before your other fans will be flyin' in!!


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## Feefo (Feb 8, 2002)

Well done, Alvin!

I am almost convinced that people make a fuss about pigeons on their roof because they are expected to do so now. I have never, even before I developed "pigeon conciousness", looked up at my roof to see whether there are birds perching there.

But a couple of years ago a neighbour wanted to trim down my conifer because the collared doves perched on it before coming down to feed. They didn't perch on his roof, or even fly over his garden to get there, he just objected on principle.

Cynthia


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

Great Story Alvin!

Such a successful move. Who says you can't please everyone! Oh, I think some of your birds have been here teaching my birds how to play "craps".

Feather


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## Whitefeather (Sep 2, 2002)

Thanks for sharing your wonderful story Alvin.
You neighbors can now 'unruffle' *their* feathers. 

Cindy


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## Maggie-NC (Jun 22, 2005)

Well, Mr. Piedpiper, I think this story had a super ending! I can see you now, with all those little pigeons following you down the street.  I'm glad for the birdies that this relocation worked out.


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## Feather (Dec 8, 2005)

I like the place where Doodles moved. It is beautiful there.

Feather


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## alvin (May 10, 2006)

Feather said:


> I like the place where Doodles moved. It is beautiful there.
> 
> Feather


The park maintenance don't. Ever try to get crayon off tree bark.....?


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## Skyeking (Jan 17, 2003)

Congratulations on moving your little buddies to a new feeding station.

Thank you for taking the time to secure their safety as well as securing their meals.

You must have LOOKED  like the Pide Piper of pigeons going down the street. I would have loved to have seen that.


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## Reti (Jul 20, 2003)

LOL, Alvin, love your stories.

I am glad your relocating the pijies was successful and now more of them can benefit of a good meal.

Reti


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## mr squeaks (Apr 14, 2005)

alvin said:


> The park maintenance don't. Ever try to get crayon off tree bark.....?


Alvin! Haven't you told Doodles about not using the "permanent" kind?! 'Course, graffitti artists can be quite tempermental!! 

He could have some REAL problems if he keeps messin' up the trees! Dorian von Nastypuss sure wouldn't take kindly to "bailing" him out of trouble! Dorian is just too busy being...well, up to his usual nastiness!


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